Smother Mother

Dear Gay Agony Uncle

My mother keeps on calling around, and it’s becoming intolerable. She has a key for emergencies, but she lets herself in without knocking.

Last week a hook up who I see every few weeks was leaving and she got chatting with him and now thinks he’s my boyfriend. It was so embarrassing. He’s got a partner and has an open relationship, and we just fulfil a physical need with each other. I don’t want to have to explain the ins and outs of my life with her. But she’s posted on social media and told friends of the family that I’m seeing someone. She’s even tried to add him as a friend on Facebook, fortunately he’s not accepted and taken the situation in good humour.

I’ve considered moving further away so she can’t just pop around. But really feel that’s a little extreme. What would you suggest?

Chris F


Sit down with your mother and explain the boundaries of your home, space and life. Say that you enjoy her company however also need her to respect your privacy. Don’t go into the in’s and outs of your friendship and relationship, but put her in the picture that you aren’t ‘stepping out’ with the chap she met and to put on hold any wedding plans she may have.

Moving away is a tad over dramatic. Request that she to calls you and hour before coming around, however put a dead bolt on the door, so if she accidentally ‘forgets’ to call she can’t just let herself in when you’re entertaining.

Parents do have a tendency to forget that we’re grown adults and still see us as something they can micro-manage.

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