He Wants To Stay – But I Don’t Want Him To

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My friend went through a rough time with a split with his partner, for a few weeks he stayed in my spare room while he was getting himself sorted. He is a messy person and I was relieved when he moved out into a new house share, I didn’t comment on his messiness as I knew it was just short term and he was going through a rough time.

I quite liked having a housemate, it was pleasant to have someone to come home to and chat with, so I signed up to a website where travelling actors could stay for a few days or weeks while their show was in town. This has worked out really well, I’ve had free theatre tickets, met a few great people, who’ve become friends and had a little romance out of it.

My friend, who originally stayed with me is in another sticky situation, he’s lost his job and can’t pay his rent. As I didn’t charge him last time he’s asking to move in with me while he gets himself sorted. I’ve said I’ve got people booked in, so couldn’t. I didn’t and got caught out when he sent a message via the actor rental website with a dummy account asking to book in.

He’s now asked why I lied to him, and making me feel guilty.

How should I react?

Jon T


Hmm, just be honest with him. Say you value the friendship however don’t want him to stay with you and were using the room being booked as a gentle way to let him down. If anything he’ll feel a little petty trying to catch you out.

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About the Author: Jonathan

Jonathan Welford is a Life Coach and NLP practitioner who works with LGBT people on interpersonal and relationship issues.

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